Friday, October 22, 2010

Im sorry i left you
i was caught in exam..cehhh

so tonight i was thinking, really i make used of brain. what have i done for these past few sems here?
i had this guy friend. yep, i know him early this year. and we started to hang out a lot much than i ever hang out with any other guys before, except that guy in toulon now. n i met his mom and sis and bro..pretty much. over the past few months, we texted, we met and he was fun. at that time, i think he could really be here if i wanted him to be. i guess you know why i never do long distance relationship, its long n far in distance and can't commit to that. i want the person to be here, right next to me incase i need a moral support or something. later on, we get really closed and it was still fun..and the way he treat me like different or at least thats how i felt..
i couldnt make up my mind. so i guess by time, he would know that he'll be just great as my good friend because the thing is, i like other guy, older, wiser and i couldnt figure anything out yet.
he's really great, fun to hang out with, and we could talk almost everything. and i guess he kinda like me, because that's what my friends told me..they saw affection in his eyes when we had conversation..i felt so too, but it was different kinda feeling.

my point is, why i never love the person who loves me? and im still go for the hard core. the one, who obviously i can go whenever wherever i want to..but i like someone else, and its not certain. if i ever like him, what if he never likes me back? and i got heart broken. toulon guy is not here ( definitely) by whatever means to tell me everything gonna be alright and make lame jokes about it..and tell me i deserve way better guy. now i dont like the hard ways. if u like me, tell me. if u don't well u deserve someone better and so do i.

do guys really think that between man and woman there's no such thing as "best friend"?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

miss, to talk to, vacation, spending time

oh i wish i can tell you that
i miss you
i really want to talk to you
i wish you can follow us go vacation together
i just want to spend my time in any way but as long as there will be you

but i guess you're busy
so im gonna keep these thoughts for a while

growing apart and its pain

i think we all start to grow apart
you know when you just can't sit down on the same table
or look at each other without doubts in the eyes
you look down whenever the eyes meet
you start to keep things to yourself
you stop hanging out like we always do

we just grow apart

when everything you do seem so wrong
but you too scared to admit it
too scared to tell each other
that we both know
its just not going to work anymore

but among everyone in the cycle
you always have only this one person you can trust
you can tell every little secrets
the one where you always hang out with
spend most of the time together
cause you know one day
it will come to end
where you and that person will have to leave each other
so until the time comes
both of you decided to do everything together
and cherish the moment
there's only going to be and you
i'll be your diary and you can be the lock and key ;)

p/s: i miss you. wish you know that

Sunday, October 10, 2010



my brother wedding.
da besar rupenye abang aq ni..
we used to stay up all night watching mr.bean..and i fall asleep..hahaha
nahhh, im not dat close to my older sis when i was small, geezz..we always fight
and i would say to my bro.."abanggggg, tgk akak ni..." in a most gedik and ngade punya tone..hehe
but oh well..akak still win..ntah pape :(

oh n yes, dis is what i like bout my bro..
but ini mmg time skola2 dlu a..
i was about to take my upsr result, tibe2 my frens dtg ckp "omg, ade sorg laki coming dis way..jambu gak..."

n i was like..." watever..."
but suddenly.."'s result?"
omg, abang kau???
surprise! byk la surprise...
since then, membe2 aq sibuk tnye psal abg aq..mmg kembang abs la time tu abg aq..haihhhhhhh...

dia mmg supir terhebat ;)
time tu xde lesen, n my dad like..if u wanna go out, ask bro hantar , teman n jemput blk..
what???? not cool at all dad..
but my bro like..da siap shopping call, i'll come...jgn talk to stranger, jln bebaik, jatuh bngn sndri :) siot punye abg....nway, he is the best
mmg dia kne jd cmtu, sbb adik dia mmg degil, keras kepala, kepala batu..xdgr jgn ckp..hahaha
n n the age dia cm haihhhhh,,bebudak..layan je la..
smpai skg cmtu..still supir aq kalau di kampung la..sbb ayah xkasi bwk kete jalan2 kt melaka..

pasni xbole daa :(
sedih..sape nk layan aq nye kerenah, yg ngade2 ni...hahaha..nk nangis plak en... T___T
xbole suke2 kol soh amk kalau sesat kt mne2...haaa...cne ni..

tp kalau dpt boyfie cm abg mmg best ;) seyes..xpenah tgk dia marah..dia cm rilek je..takut gk kalau tibe2 dia termarah kt aq..oke2..jadi budak baik..*duduk diam, xbyk ckp*


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Right now

i remember the moment when my dad used to buy me all the things i wanted, even i already got it.
u see, before my sis was even born..i used to get whatever i want. i enjoyed that moment. but that time, i never realized how hard my dad had to work to fulfill my wish..

its still fresh in my mind, when i was 8 or 9
i really wanted dis laptop, u noe those kiddy lappy...where u can play games, vocab, maths and was quite few hundreds..
but my dad can't afford it at that time..
so he told me "i will buy for u, but not today..not now.."
i ask, "y dad?"
then my dad told me, honestly.. "i don't have enough money now..but i promise i will buy for u.."

that time i realized, i shouldn't ask too many things from my dad..sure he will never disappoint me..but, it wasn't easy at all..
nway, he got me dat laptop...i really love it, i carried it everywhere like some sort of businesswoman..hahhaah...

the point is. i was raised with something like, when there is something u can't do, there's always reason y..i will understand if u told me y such things happened at the first place..

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Oh gosh, im wearing the most comfortable nighties i got, but i still feel fat
what was dis all about?
dats it, im gonna starve until Thursday. note dat.
a lil too dramatic? maybe, but yeah whatever..

maybe its about time i start to whine about how i miss my home
really? or u miss the attention u got? exactly.
y i miss my home?
dis is y:

1. i can talk non stop to everyone
2. i can watch tv like i never seen a box and a wire at the back of it.
3. i can ask my mom to cook me delicious food
4. i can just take car keys and drive
5. i get to order my sis around..haha ;)
6. i can get cash?

but mostly, i miss my parents and sis.

its been 2 weeks, gosh. but i met them last Sunday ;) in some wed we agreed to go
they gave me $$$. thanx ;) really need it for shopping

since i feel fat, im gonna do cardio..

10 things that u aren't suppose to get mad when it comes to love

This is just a reminder for me ;)

don't easily get mad if the guy u like:

1. didn't call u regularly
2. didn't reply ur msg asap
3. didn't text u 20/7
4. cancel the things that u plan together on the same day
5. never say "i love you" or "i like you" in the public or infront of his friends
6. stare at u n u dun know wherelse to look
7. didn't buy u the things that u want
8. introduce u to his colleague especially females
9. didn't write/ comment on ur stupid wall in fb
10. didn't wave u back

never ever get mad, get even!

no. seriously, don't get mad
i don't know why yet, but just don't do it cuz, its so immature? perhaps?