Thursday, March 24, 2011

Almost.




I don't know if you still mad at me. or really hate me. i don't know.

but why does it seem that everything i wanna do, it almost included you?
for the past 2 days, i have watched some interesting movie trailers. okay. then without my conscious, i said "okay, nak tgk movie ni dgn _________". tapi tibe2 en, "eh dah tak kawan, mane boleh ajak tgk wayang". same goes to when i wanted to buy something, "rse cm nk beli gak lah utk _______" but then again, "eh, mne boleh.."

so cmtu lah. i guess i just have to get use to it. sometimes when rara said something then tibe2 aku ter-reply plak "ouh..dia pun suke gak, or ade..."
pastu cam "asal lak aku ckp psal dia ek, sengal lahh.."


you see. often we spend our time with someone for a certain period of time, then suddenly a crisis happened and we both keeping a distance from each other. first, we thought..its okay..will be alright soon. then, after days and weeks when you were alone and suddenly thought of that person. that's when maybe all the memories came back. then again, ego will try to stop and things will be back to normal.

yes. eventhough im busy with my college life, everytime i paused the memories came rushing through. what should i do now?



no. i don't want it to end like this.


i hope so too


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Sehari harian


Nak tgk suju tak dpt. bruno mars tak dpt. bieber jgn haraplah. oke. maroon 5?
bukan tak nak tapi, dah pokai. nasib baik aku mkn free. kalau kne byr, kurus dah aku. size 0 weh. boleh join ANTM. eh silap, MNTM.

dah la takde duit. nasib baik ayah kasi every week. ;) boleh la survive skit2. tapi, byk bnd kne byr sbnrnye, for example, duit kelas, duit coupon food fun fair etc. dah la coupon tu 2. 2 book. aaaaa, lebih kurang lah. so, nak tak nak kne la byr. aku lg byk spend duit utk kolej ni dr diri aku sndri weh. rse nye kne gune khidmat AKPK lah..susah gak nk uruskan kewangan ni. math kau dah la lembsss tina oi! hahahhaa..cne kau boleh dpt A? nway, spm kot. dan ye, aku bukan bdk account. so logik r..kan kan??


weh bedah!
asal kau 'in a relationship'? ngn sape? asal aku xtaw?
huh? kejadah?
ini satu trick kot weh. utk mengelakkan..well you know what lah kan..
aku kan single n ready to mingle.
ahhh, aku x cye kau ni.
xcye sudahhhh!
kau takde pakwe? xcye aku!
ye, bedah. kwn kau xde pakwe kot.
-____- '''

heh. bpe kali aku nk terangkan ni. ye. kau stalker aku kt blog ni haa. tp tp, dia best friend aku kot. tolong lah percaya. haihhhh, nt dia blk kau tnye lah! byk bising plak. hahahhaa...

oh kau nak taw tak?
haritu kan kan, aku plan mcm2 utk future aku. nk continue post basic lah, degree lahh..smbg contract lahh..mcm2 lahh..so time aku plan2 tu, tbe2 cm terlintas plak. bile nk kawen kalau cmni? (pergghhh, pikir psal kawen dah kau, beso dah!) ekeleh, gadis normal cm aku mmg la. kau tu lain la, cantik, pandai. sekali petik je wei (nth2 xyah petik pown). buat itu ini itu dan mcm2 lg, dah late 20's. kire cm nk 30 dah la. gulp! kalau aku sebok nk cri duit dan kumpul sijil serta merantau, alamatnye bedah, tak kawen lah aku! tapi, tibe2 rara ckp.."along the way ade lah tu..yg kau nk cri watpe.." eh, betul lah kot. :p

kau sengal lah Tina. patut la Zainur pnggl kau noob -___- ''' haihhhh..
ergghhh, ape noob noob??!!
siap lah mamat tu! hahahhaa..

dan td tbe2 aku menangis wei. aku takut. tbe2 aku terpikir (byk bepikir betul lah bdk ni, pastu nangis). nth cmne aku boleh terpikir, mst ade hikmah aku jd nurse kan wei. sepatutnye, org degil dan noob cm aku xleh jd nurse. pastu aku terpikir (again) byk bnd aku blaja semenjak aku jd nurse, well at least aku taw ubat2 ni. dan juga family aku sgt lah health conscious, so aku tak risau sgt..bpk aku terer wei gune glucometer tu haa, prick sndri kt umh. (tp aku pantau buku dia) so far, undercontrol. sume sihat sejahtera. alhamdulillah..

dah la kau ciwek! nangis je keje. sume nk nangis. tgk 127 hours nk nangis, tgk code blue kt tv nangis. ape lg yg kau nak nangis? terharu then aku nangis ahh..sedih kot weh code blue tu. aku kalau pasal bpk ngn anak ni aku tacing beb. aku dah la slalu degil, tak dgr ckp, degil, suke buat sesuka hati dan sesedap rse, merajuk plng lme kat umh..haha..rina pown pening ngn aku~

ni haaa, membebel je keje. pergi tido lah! orait bosss! nyte!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Long post


Its a short weekend. why? well..as you r reading this, i'm already at my college. probably attending meeting. if not. well...skype? maybe..reading notes. or else..zzzzzz.

anyway. even though its a short one. i learn a lot and do the thinking.

firstly, human are definitely not the same. maybe i misjudge. or being judgmental. call it whatever you want. i said this because, i often posted somethings for my friends, either good or not so good (won't say bad though). for example, i often write a post about my friend in France. either i miss him, or simply because i miss him (again). or just wanna tell him about my chaotic life. yes, i do tell him by writing because sometimes writing is way much easier than telling. maybe we both kinda bz and if i talked, i probably forgot what i'm talking about. so if i wrote, i could just re-read. anyhoo, my point is. you can't get upset (way over upset) about what i'm writing. especially if i didn't maki you, can't say i did. it is wrong. and i don't understand why are you being so upset when i already said "i'm sorry"? for my France dude. thanx for giving me a definite answer for my question. no dude, its not you. but rather a guy whom i ought to know. but somehow, i couldn't recognize him anymore.

secondly, i hate living alone. i just don't understand my dad. why can't i go live nicely in balakong? oh, wait. its quite far. so my dad bought a house (just a flat) for me to live and near to my workplace. okay. thank you daddy. appreciate it. living alone is scary. but my dad said, i can't be too dependent on people. its time for you to stand on your feet. stop being clingy. and everything. oh well, just want you to know dad, i'm the-more-the merrier kind of girl.

thirdly, i miss you. and i love our friendship. i love it so much sometimes i'm afraid i might lose it. well, you know i might say something unintentionally and next thing i know, you don't talk to me or even skype or ym me anymore. then i'll be more than just a loser. what's more than a loser? idk. and i don't want one. so sometimes i just keep quiet. but being too quiet is weird. so i talked. a lot sometimes. and when you called me, i often forgot to ask about you. i'm so sorry. and you are not calling from anywhere near. better remember that next time.


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

DAIR


Maaf wifi. aku x kisah dah. nak gune jgk (dah nak abs download bru mntk sorry, ceitttt). biar exceed asal kan dpt tgk GG ep 18. episode ni sgt critical oke. Hopefully, Chuck sempat tgk dgn harapan mata dia terbeliak dan aku tepuk tngn dgn happy nya..yes! take that Bass! in ur pretty face!

ye. kau lupekan lah si Chuck (taste dia urgghh). amik lah Dan. Walaupun dia Humphrey dan tinggal di Brooklyn. tapi tapi, dia lagi baik baik dan baik dari Chuck. memang kau tak rase nk naik limo dah pas ni Blair. sila naik cab. atau naik limo anda sendiri (memang sah lah). padan muka Chuck! hang pi lah kat Raina hang tu. Go Humphrey! ehem, aku suka Dan lah. eh, mane ade khianat. mmg aku dulu dulu suke Dan. tapi Archibald tetap di hati. dia punye charm you can't resist. tapi taste dia, org tua2! takpe, asalkan dia bahagia.

Sabar wei sabar. esk bwk earfon g kelas. tgk dlm kelas. mantap!



ni episode 17. berdebar weh tgk episode ni..haha


Thursday, March 10, 2011

I miss you


You know, my first choice wasn't nursing. it was more to hotel management and tourism. why? because i like to travel and telling people about great places in the world.

then, i want to open up a nursery. nahhh, not the plants one. its more like kindergarten. why? because i love kids. yes, you and you may not believe it but trust me.i can handle pretty much kids. my way of course. after spm, i worked as a teacher at this kindergarten, then i met this cute chinese boy..emmm that time he was just 3 years old..he so cute and cute, i wished he's 17 (im 17 at that time) i really like him. i still do. he got the cutest face and smile. anyway, i took care of him. pretty much everything. i taught him ABC,123..songs (even chinese one). i bathed him. i slept with him (yikes) woke him up. played around with him, scold him.

his parents are hard working people. they always came back late. then i had to stay with him until 8pm sometimes. i don't mind, but my parents are..so guess what?

i bwk dia to my house! yeay! he stayed with me until his parents came and pick him up. cool eh. amik cinapek bwk blk umh. ckp melayu wehhh..hahaha!! i miss those moments. dia sgt cute!

i think, he's 7 years old now! wow! same age as my niece. Good luck boy!

btw, ape motif kau tulis post ni?

ekeleh, aku rindu dia aku tulis lahhh! i miss Lee Hao Min!


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I hate Rara!


I believe between 2 best friends there should be some healthy arguments, little bit of drama and so whatever. i didnt talk to my best friend since yesterday evening until..errrr..i can't remember the duration exactly. but hey, we talk now. like we never talk before.

anyway, i do feel bad. if i do something then my best friend is not by my side. usually we had breakfast,lunch, dinner together. but this morning (we dare not to speak yet) so i had breakfast alone. same goes for lunch. but somewhere between classes we 'bergaduh' and then there's more. then there's pause. then only we talked. and end up, having dinner together. which i called her because i had meeting but she's already in her room. so i straight away went to cafe and start to think "i can't do this. i have to talk to her, ala buat bodo je." then went to her room buat muke x malu sket, "ra, dinner jom." then segalanya kembali normal. tu je. all you have to do is. put on your thick face and say sorry.


tak nak kawan sudahhhhh!!


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

IHY


Memang malas nk type. nk story pun cm malas. disebabkan kau la.

i could never go to sunway,
could never go to cupcake chic,
could never walk around in sunway,
could never go to midvalley and hang out in mph again
could never go to carrefour in midvalley ever ever again.
could never watch the movie we used to watch again.

wait. i know you possibly don't care. but i do. its been this long and im really tired of this. all of this. i said sorry. for whatever i ever did to you. but you just don't care. i did wrong. and so do you.
i know we are not freakin couple but i went out with you way too many times than anyone else. i don't know why you kept secrets but i don't. i hate secrets. that's why i never keep one.

i really hate you. you are a distraction. big massive one. why can't you just quit your job and move from pj. that would give me some peace. cause i won't. i have contract. if not, i'll be out from your face.

even if i was mad at you, i'll be fine after a week. we could talk it over and apologize and do whatever we want to. but it has been 2 weeks. oh, i have my own reason why i text-ed you using rara's number.

i hate you i wish i never met you.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

R&M part 1


Sem 6 byk mengajar aku. macam2 lah. self reflection, time management, leadership, communication and everything.

dan juga research and management project. ala, yg kne wat research about something that you think need improvement, especially about my college or clinical area. kawan baik boleh bergaduh (kalau dapat same group), musuh kne tolerate sesame sendiri, dan yg tak pernah bertegur atau tak rapat sebelum ni dirapatkan hubungan mereka..

seronok tu memang la, as im the kind of person who likes to work in a group. =) tapi bukan sume org suke bekerja dgn org ramai. ade yg suke buat kerja sndri, dan pass up hasil kerja mereka (kadang2 mereka beri rubbish pada leader) yg mana buat bagus tu, keep it up!. kesian aku tengok leader every group. to tell you the truth, even leader aku cried sbb dia igt diri dia tak layak jadi leader. eh, tak la! sebab leader ni, lecturer kitorg yg chose. mereka ade sebab tersendiri mengapa mereka chose kamu. jadi jgn bersedih dan cheer up! everybody made mistakes. so what we have to do? learn from the mistakes and never did the same thing again.

kalau kau leader dan kau ter amatlah soft spoken dan baik hati, emm be careful sebab as far as i know people like to take you for granted. haa, time ade meeting la kau nak dating, nak kuar la, nak tu la, nk ni la..kalau nk dating tu boleh, tapi habaq mai awai2 nokkkk..bukan last minute. sebab project ni group work, mana mungkin buat seorang diri (even ade lagi 10 org). lain la kalau emergency, dan berdating itu adalah kemahuan dan bukan keperluan, apatah lagi di kategorikan sbg kecemasan...pffttt..

part yg paling tension mase time literature review. nak kne bace literature tu bukan skit, tp byk taw tak! mostly ktorng amk from google scholar (thanx yaw!) dan database such as science direct dan proquest. lain2 tu pndai2 la korg cri. must be reliable taw. and give credit la tu those who cited the phrase. kang kau kne cop plagiarism.

part yg plng best adlh mase create questionnaire. time ni idea tibe2 je tumbuh cm cendawan (bernas ke tak, tu lain cerite)..hahahaa..pastu korg gembira bile questionnaire korg di approve oleh lecturer. time tu, boleh la distribute kat kawan2 dan junior2..tgk cmne hasil nya..so far ktorg bru buat pilot study..dan result serta feed back dari mereka not bad lahhh...ade gak idea nak wat bab management nanti..

yeay! malam ni nak distribute soalan yg betul2..nanti kite tgk hasilnya. :-)

k lah, nak rehat dulu. penat beb, kelas dari 8-5. otak ni kene rehat jap...zzzzzz...


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

1,2,3 Go. just let it go.


Ready dah nak tulis. sebab tak reply msg kite, x app friend request kite. so kite tulis kat blog je lahh..anyway, sume org taw..ape2 pun kite akan tulis kat blog.

fine. kalau tak nak approve friend request kite. tapi at least kite dah mintak maaf. kite dah pikir2, kalau maafkan kite pun, things will never be the same. so, takpe. maafkan lah kite ok. pasni kite tak kacau dah. lagi pun pasni kite akan jadi super duper busy.

actually, kite mmg tak patut pun marah dan tak bercakap. but, nth. cm tetibe lak. pastu bile pkr2 balik, like lahhh...bukan nya bf kite pun. so, watpe nak marah dan jealous (?). bukan nya pernah declare couple ke ape. even dah kuar byk kali pun cm..well..nth. takpe la. takde pape yg serious. just a picture je kan.

takde sape wat salah pape. ok. maybe kite.

hmmm, ok. dah. cm tu je la. it has to end. somehow, somewhere, and some time.


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