im in a circus.

hey u.
yeah u.

thanx is the first word i want to say to u.
knowing u is the best part of all.

but sadly,
im walking on a very thin line.
u c,
i always had this thing on my mind
where by, im walking on a very thin line.
and everyone that i knows, surrounds me.
cheering for me.
when i look down, unfortunately there is no safety net, neither a safety belt for me.
its like im in a circus.
people around me,
some of 'em are nice, cheering for me to walk the line.
others r juz waitin for me to fall.

i myself.
afraid i could fall anytime.

n i hate a hanging of something.
of relationship.
of anything that bothers me.
well it does.

dis stupid relationship bothers me.
i must say.
im not afraid if u tell me the truth.
its ugly and bitter.
but yeah, i swallow it anyway.

the truth will be juz gud for me.
im glad if u can tell me.
n finally set me free.
if dats what u want.

if u hev any doubts about me,
pls ask me.
i tell u truthfully.

honesty is so important in my life.

n im goin to take my exam soon.
im hoping dis thing will not bother me.
it sux.

nway, thanx for dropping by.
n tell me gud words.
it helps.
for now.

those things

fear.
of failure.
of love.
of lost.

i dun want to fail. sometimes i thought i might juz breakdown. i dun really wanna say im in stress. but yeah, it shows.

i cried. sometimes for so long i never did.
n im scared.
of almost everything.

im sorry anis.
i can't possibly play when my fren is one of the judges.
im scared dat i might hurt u when ur not bein fair.
with words. enough said.
i can't play when my emotion aren't stable.
i might shout, hurting someone else.
nway, really great to be in the team.

i tink im already lost.
pls find me, n bring me back.
its too scary to stay here.

missing

where r u?
can't find u.
im scared.

can't trust monday

i can't possibly write it here, can i?
i want to write out my anger.
to which if i vomit it through my word..
a lot of fouls sentences u will heard.

u said
i got some problem attitude.
i came in late to ur class.
i had breakfast.
i was honest though.
late by 5. dats all.
i can't possibly lie.
not dat i dun wanna do
but i juz can't find a gud reason y i should lie in the first place. on monday.
its not like im always late.
never. for morning classes.

then i told u
i woke up late
not dat really happened
juz want to cover
i want to accompany my dearest fren had her breakfast
i can't turn my back on her
simply cuz im a loyal fren

to which u assume
i came back late last night
past 11pm.
for ur information
i never came back late.
n if u dun believe me
u can roll ur eyes
n checked the guard book
which will definitely give u a surprpise.

im not like me when im in ur class
i am certainly sure that i was acting weird
in ur class
juz ur class.
its not boring
maybe u a lil bit too sensitive, no?

idk if u got kids
by my age
well if u do
im sure u understand the situation
i had into.
to my conclusion that ur not.

i was different
bfre u came
u can checked through whichever source u want
they barely noe me
as a problematic student.

if u say
i got problem attitude
then maybe u can run some diagnostic test
n confirm it?
i'll wait. patiently.

u can't remember my name
u hev to c it on my name tag
at least 5 sec bfre u can get right
i said it bfre u do
my name is Sayidatina.
u jolly well said im really a Datin.
broke my heart though.

for ur information..again.
Sayidatina in our religion
known as
The Prophet's Wife name
its like "gelaran"
so im sure my father didn't hev any intention to give my such beautiful name
but hoping i will become Datin?
i bet u heard my frens called me Datin a few times.
but then again..
its juz for entertainment
n not for ur amusement.

im juz glad u didn't land ur skinny fingers onto my skin.

LOVE

tell me
how would i noe
if i like u

how would u noe
if u like me

how we would noe if we like each other.

"i love u" isn't juz a simple word
to be said
to be written
to be texted

doesn't come
in a night.
takes a whole bunch of courage
to find it

but failed to meet
it fades away, isn't it.

love
i lost it
can't be able to feel
or maybe juz hard to feel
cuz i wasn't certain
of my own desire too



but what happened
if u r in love
found it
hold on tight to it
take care of it
preserve it, no?

well then if u hev my heart
pls take care of it

if u wanna leave
fix it

im afraid i lost my love in my own deep thoughts.