After a week, i'm ready. to write about it. since im not going to meet you again, so here goes..
its not easy.
i already knew when you asked me out for the second times, its not going to work. i know you got sister that is my age, i knew it just won't. i knew when you called me budak. i always knew. i knew it from the way you talked, walked and just about everything. i'm not that naive, I've dated guys before..so i already knew when its not working..when you called me on my birthday.
but you know what is the saddest part?
me knowing it from someone else. it could be bitter if i heard it from yourself but go on, i swallow it anyway. now, i look like a fool. foolish. that's me.
should have known, but why am i doing it? just to see how far one can go. and recover. for me, the hardest part is, the kind of feelings you have. a mixture of anger, sad, relieved (not sure if i even felt it), disappointed.
i wish that phone call is the damn last one. i do not wish to see you. i hope i will not see you. i have thrown it all away.
be happy. as i couldn't wish more than that. i'm weary and you are long gone.