tonight i have a confession to make. its been a long time i keep it to myself and finally tonight i want to tell. for whoever dats been reading my blog =p
so people asked me, " tina, ur not bad. ur a good girl, u hev perfect family, u study very well..but y u never had a bf..?"
i simply told them. im not interested to hev one. but dat was just to covered up the whole confession thing.
u see..when i was in high school, i used to date guys. like every teenage girls in high school, popularity is very important, reputation is number one, status is like currency..and so on.. but seriously, dat was high school..n i never dated them outside from school.. they were mostly athletes, basketball player..and some are bad boys..which i found very interesting to be with..just dat time and no more.
lets check, last time i broke up with my bf is because he was way overprotected.. he wanted to do anything and everything together..its like no air. no space. n i got scared. he caged me. and it was so hard to earn his trust..so one day, i found my chance..and i escaped. i told him the truth. so we broke up. it took me years to put up wif his ego.
i sit in the corner, n promised not to ever fall in love. if i noe it was so hard to keep a relationship, i wouldn't want to do it. i rather be friends wif everyone..
so everytime people want to get to noe me, i hev already shut it down. i blocked my heart. keep pushing everyone away.. cuz the way they wanted to noe me, like u noe..those pervert. ok maybe im paranoid? idk..
trust and respect. dat is what keepin love together. or at least for me.
so now u noe, when u told me to go out and look out for friends..meet new people especially guys, it wasn't easy. its not like i can't, but i dun want. im always content with whatever i have. i have very few people dat i trust. one of them is you.
and i always thought guys at my age are lack of maturity and knowledge. all they want to talk about is sex. n i know their anatomy better than they do. its just not cool at all when they actually try to talk bout it, but it turns out they even sucks at their own anatomy. and i have to correct them everytime. its pathetic.
just so u noe, i dont fall in love wif guy dat same age as me.